Next vacation idea....

Do you like cruises? Do you like traveling to exotic ports? Do you like to shoot guns and pretend that you are Fatbeard. Well here is your answer: Somali Cruises.

I think this trip may appeal to almost all that read BackTOMS.

Also, my attempt to get the dirty picture off the front page.

Pirate Sighting

I did see one pirate on our vacation.  Rather than trying to take down our cruise ship he was actually on the plane with us from Newark to Rome.

My words cannot do justice to how dumb this guy looked, but I'll do my best to describe him:

• He was with two other dudes (that were not dressed like pirates) and it sounded like they were speaking Italian.
• He had shiny, black, leather boots on that came up to just over his calves.  The toes of the boots were pointed.
• He had white tights on.
• He had a black, ankle length skirt.
• He had a tight, white shirt on with a black shirt over it.
• He wore a black do-rag (more like Zorro rather than a rapper) on his head.
• He wore long-dangling, mis-matched earrings.
• He had a necklace on.
• And for the best part:  His facial hair included a trimmed beard with the sides zig-zagging.  On the right-side of the beard he sported a line of hair that protruded up his jaw line almost to his side burn.  That side burn also had a line of hair that shot down towards his mustache.  His mustache extended to his left side burn.  

He sat across the aisle from me and I could not stop staring in amazement.  I'm still wondering if it is possible for him to live his life that way or if this was part of an elaborate joke or bet that he lost.

Unfortunately, this is the best picture I got of him.  I was a little afraid to try and get a better one since he could have easily tried to rape and pillage me.

Be on Ready Five

As you guys know, some of us (JT, Lisa, Shey, me) are headed off for a Mediterranean cruise later this week.  Just read this on FOXNews.com:

An Italian cruise ship with 1,500 people on board fended off a pirate attack far off the coast of Somalia when its Israeli private security forces exchanged fire with the bandits and drove them away, the commander said Sunday.

My suspicion is that our ship won't have Israeli private security (not to mention the fact that we aren't going anywhere near Somalia).  But as a precaution, I hope you guys will be on ready five in case you get the call from my emergency contact (John) to come rescue us.

And if you haven't seen last week's episode of South Park you should check it out.  It's titled Fatbeard and you can watch it here.  Hilarious.