Tiger Woods Sets the Record Straight

Foul language warning.

I am Tiger Woods from TWoods

Breaking News: Tiger's 13th Mistress

Who would Tiger not hook up with??? This morning I read allegations about Tiger's use of escort services and we've already seen some of the butter faces that are speaking out about their affairs with the golf great. Backtoms has learned that Tiger has finally hit rock bottom.

We've learned that Tiger's 13th floozy goes by the name of Devon. Devon earns an honest wage during the week, but on the weekends makes a living by dancing at the local jiggly wiggly. Here is a picture of Devon.

Backtoms caught up with Devon and asked how the affair began.

Tiger came in late one night to the club and sat at my satellite stage. He was out of singles so he tipped me with his business card. His cell phone number was on the back of the card and he told me to text him when I got off work. I did and he asked me to meet him at the motel so he could 'wear me out'. Truer words were never spoken!

I think I just threw up in my mouth.