Job Opportunity

Looking at the latest Harrah's blog update today and they mentioned that the Chippendales auditions are this week:

Seeking male LEADS with exceptional physical builds and the ability to learn fully choreographed production numbers. Must be at least 5' 10". Also seeing attractive MC's and VOCALISTS who move well.

Sounds like this might be perfect for some of you. I'm not coordinated enough for fully choreographed production numbers and Luke might not make the height requirement, but I'm sure he could make it as an "attractive MC."

Breaking News: Tiger's 13th Mistress

Who would Tiger not hook up with??? This morning I read allegations about Tiger's use of escort services and we've already seen some of the butter faces that are speaking out about their affairs with the golf great. Backtoms has learned that Tiger has finally hit rock bottom.

We've learned that Tiger's 13th floozy goes by the name of Devon. Devon earns an honest wage during the week, but on the weekends makes a living by dancing at the local jiggly wiggly. Here is a picture of Devon.

Backtoms caught up with Devon and asked how the affair began.

Tiger came in late one night to the club and sat at my satellite stage. He was out of singles so he tipped me with his business card. His cell phone number was on the back of the card and he told me to text him when I got off work. I did and he asked me to meet him at the motel so he could 'wear me out'. Truer words were never spoken!

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Vegas To Do Item

Deja Vu in Las Vegas has taken advertising to a new level. When in Vegas I'm sure you've seen the trucks driving around with the stripper billboards and all of the cabs with strip club ads, etc. Deja Vu now has a live stripper on a pole in a truck cruising The Strip. You can check out the video at Fox 5 Vegas.

Kinda funny

Counterfeiting charges for man printing $50s in lap-dance scheme

Club for Deebo

We all know the Deebo likes 'em young. Looks like he might want to take a vacation up to Rhode Island where it is apparently legal for 16 year olds to work as strippers. You can read about it at CNN.com:

A shocking legal loophole discovered by authorities in Rhode Island.

While teens can’t pump gas or climb ladders on the job because of protections in workplace laws, there is nothing on the books keeping 16- and 17-year-olds from stripping – as long as they’re home by 11:30 on school nights.

Authorities discovered this loophole during a police investigation into a 16-year-old runaway found working at a strip club in Providence.

At 16 she might even be willing to accept your business card as a tip. Remember that time at Sammy's in B'ham?

She Works Hard For The Money

From FOXNews.com:

AKRON, Ohio  —  Police say a 14-year-old girl was dancing topless at an Akron strip club when they raided the bar and arrested four exotic dancers.

I assume the girl lied about her age, but what dummy couldn't figure out that she was probably a little too young to be in there getting rained on?

Speaking of young'ns...reminds me of a couple things from college:

• I remember when Deebo was hooking up with a high-school girl and her bra end up hanging down from the ceiling fan in our room.  The next morning John C. brought his parents and grandma over to introduce them to us.  Comedy ensues.
• I'm light on details, but there was some incident at the crack house where Michael busted down the door fighting with his high-school girlfriend.  Luke or Michael...do you want to expand the details?

Clown Show Gone Bad

I'll be the first to admit that I enjoy a good clown show, but this is one I'm glad I missed:

The University of Nebraska-Lincoln on Tuesday suspended Sigma Chi fraternity after newly unsealed court documents detailed a series of alleged hazing incidents, including one in which a stripper allegedly used a vibrator to anally penetrate a fraternity pledge during an initiation party.

Read the rest at Lincoln Journal Star.

I'm all for clowns using their props and making balloon knot animals, but I'd rather not be part of the show.

On another note...I'm wondering if anybody fed the clown their pizza crust?

So That's How They Roll in Ohio

Don't think Ohio will make my road trip schedule anytime soon.

A 52-year-old woman who took a job as an exotic dancer to help make ends meet was attacked on her first day by a jealous co-worker armed with a stiletto shoe, police said.

The alleged attacker is in her late 40s.  Is this a club for senior citizens?  Ohio is JT's old stomping grounds...I wonder how big of a tab he would run up in this place.  You can read the rest at The Akron Beacon Journal.

Stripper Idol

I heard the commercials on the radio.  And as you can imagine I asked Shey if I could go only to be met with the stink eye.  Here in Austin a gentleman's club called Palazio Men's Club is sponsoring a contest called Stripper Idol.  Now, American Idol is suing for a trademark violation.

Being the concerned citizen that I am I believe it is my duty to pick up John and head down to Palazio tonight so we can see for ourselves if we believe they are committing any trademark violations.

You can read more about the lawsuit at statesman.com.

Interesting Association

Apparently, there there is such a thing as a Lap Dancing Association according to this article.  I wonder if there are any spots available on their board?

Holy crap MSU sucks at football.  Today was painful.  Anybody have any thoughts on what will happen with Croom (if anything)?

Platinum Plus Auction

Ryder, I expect the next time we come to Memphis that your house is fully furnished with stuff from this auction.  I think satellite #2 would look great in your dining room.

I wonder if the other half of that outfit Daniel stole is still hanging on that rack?

WWDD

From AOL News Austrailia:

A best man, allegedly raped by a stripper with a sex toy, had stepped in for the groom who "wasn't interested" in his bucks' party's strip show, a court has heard.

What Would Daniel Do? I'm betting he would have screamed like a little girl and asked for another. Then he would have shared some pizza crust with her.