Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Keeping Austin Weird

Background on Keep Austin Weird.  Let's just say, minus Vegas, Austin has some of the most exotic people watching known to man if you are interested in seeing some oddball peeps.  A common topic of discussion among the less weird is where exactly do these people work that allows them to look like that?  The conversation usually leads to a few of the local food chains that specialize in having wackos preparing and serving your food which leads to someone saying, "there can't possibly be enough of those establishments for all of these nuts" and everyone has a good chuckle.  Well, I've found an actual office environment I can add to the list.

For my current job I've been working as a consultant that serves as an embedded resource with various teams/companies.  Of course the final verdict on most of these places is wow...they suck and I'm glad I'm not a permanent employee there, but one office in particular takes the cake.

To say that this office embraces diversity would be an understatement.  I'm not positive on their hiring process, but I'm guessing there must be some sort of points system based on your quirks, tattoos, piercings, and general lack of a "normal" appearance.  The less mainstream, the more likely you are to be hired.

My words cannot provide the correct justice, but I'll do my best to explain some examples of what I mean:

  • Electronic cigarette guy - this guy has a mo-hawk, wears camo cargo shorts everyday, and routinely smokes his electronic cigarette in most meetings he attends (and at his desk).  And I haven't been close enough to tell whether he's puffing the e-cigarette or the real deal, but I routinely see him outside for smoke breaks throughout the day.
  • Pootie Tang - This is the white/Asian version, but he comes complete with the glasses, super-skinny frame, and the braided pony-tail.  All he needs is the fur coat and he'd win the look-alike contest.  He's not on my team so no word on whether he actually talks like Pootie...but that would be awesome..
  • The Canuck - I can't knock him so much for this, but he is a profuse sweater.  On a daily basis I see the sweat bands forming on his shirt front, back, and pit area while doing nothing more than sitting at his desk or attending a meeting (inside).  Maybe I should introduce him to the magic of an undershirt.  Anyway, he sort of sounds like Jeff Spicoli with the exception that you'll also get more "aboots" than you can handle.  I've also calculated that 70% of his sentences end with "etc, etc"
  • Ron Jeremy - I can't speak for his bedroom manner, but this dude is about 5 foot nothing and is significantly larger in diameter than me.  I only call him Ron Jeremy because of the resemblance with his hairdo.  I'm guessing this guy does the majority of his clothes shopping at souvenir shops and Spencer Gifts since he's always got the "funny" t-shirt on.
  • John Kruk - Seems like a good ol' boy...probably somebody Luke would enjoy hanging out with.  I'm not sure I've seen a day go by yet that he hasn't had some sort of sports apparel/jersey on.
  • Summertime Santa Claus - Has the full, white beard and typically wearing shorts, white socks, and sandals.  He's also very jolly as I can hear his laugh throughout the day while he's discussing random thoughts and music with John Kruk.
  • The Historian - I'm seeing a pattern with this guy.  Come Friday afternoon around 3 PM he usually strikes up a conversation about various historical facts/empires which typically last a couple of hours or at least I'm usually out the door so not positive exactly when they stop.  I've overheard more about Roman and Persian history in the last few weeks than I ever heard in school.
  • Michael Bolton - Think more of the long-haired version, but picture him like he's starring in a role on Dazed and Confused.
I could go on, but this is even starting to bore me.  

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