Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Sparks taste test

Just had a Sparks alcoholic energy drink. It's aight if you're into Red Bull tasting stuff. I'd say it tastes a little better than Red Bull. And again, it contains 6% alcohol so it's got that going for it. Wikipedia says Joose has 9% so I guess I'll test that out too.

If you feel yourself getting a little tired while you're drinking--pick up a Sparks.

Happy New Year! Beau Knows...

For your New Year enjoyment I felt obliged to provide the latest stories heard from Beau.  You Biloxi High guys will remember Beau B. (last name the same as a previous MS governor that has a reservoir named after him in Jackson) and for the rest of you I will try to paint an accurate picture of him:
  • This is the guy that lived on Nunnrey's couch for a little while in San Antonio before moving in with JT for an extended stay in Tulsa earlier this decade.
  • Maybe JT or Nunnrey can clarify here, but I believe he has 3 kids from 3 different mommas.
  • I believe he's been married two times before, but is currently divorced (and dating someone in a long term relationship).
  • He was previously a Marine and has also served in the Army.  I believe he has also had a stint as a bounty hunter.
  • Beau is a good guy and at a bar he's the type of dude you would much rather have on your side since his Marine training has taught him to kill with well over 100 different methods (and that is just with a paper clip).
  • Beau has certainly made it through some tough times and lived to tell about some interesting experiences.
Some of my favorite one-liners from Beau (and sorry if I butcher them slightly, but you get the point):
  • I get laid like a sack of fertilizer.
  • I gotta be careful because I just walk into a room and b!tches get pregnant.
  • When you say something is "frowned upon" do you mean they poke out their bottom lip and look upset or do you mean it is against the rules (this was more acted out rather than simply said).
Last Friday night, JT called Beau and we all met up at Treasure Bay in Biloxi for drinks.  Over the course of several hours and many beers, Beau caught us up on various happenings in his life as well as others from high school.  Here are a couple of the highlights:
  • Beau's ex-wife made an appearance on Dr. Phil to explain how her life had been ruined by Beau.  Not sure if Beau was invited to the show or not, but amazingly enough Dr. Phil sided with Beau on this and told the ex that she needed to let go of the anger and move on with her life or she would be alone forever.
  • While catching Beau up on Nunnrey, he told us of a story from the glory days of high school football.  Biloxi High was taking on St. Augustine in the New Orleans Superdome.  While out in the huddle, Beau noticed a short, stocky fellow running out to replace one of the other lineman.  Who was the stud coming in...it was Nunnrey.  The play was called and the huddle broke.  Nunnrey lined up on the wrong side of the ball and a timeout had to be called to prevent a penalty.  Not sure if Nunnrey got to play too much more in the Superdome game.
Wishing you all the best in 2009 (especially Beau, as he could use some good luck)!

The Project Lounge

One of my favorite places to hit while in Biloxi is The Project Lounge.  It's a very dark and seedy bar on Iberville drive that is a nice place to finish up a long evening of drinking.  The bar used to have hundreds of caps lining the ceilings, but recently it appears they have redecorated and replaced the caps with hard hats.  The bar is complete with a jukebox and free popcorn.  It's a cash only establishment and they have one of the best steak sandwiches known to man.

Friday night, after drinks at Treasure Bay, we (JT, Lisa, Shey and me) headed over to The Project for dinner and to wrap up the night.  The bartender/owner/waitress came by and took our drink orders and then came back to get our food order.  We all ordered the steak sandwich and she asked each of us how we wanted the meat cooked.  Three of us opted for medium and JT went for the medium rare.  As the waitress walked away she commented that she was surprised that it was a man at the table that knows how to take his meat.  She obviously doesn't know JT very well.  By day he is a 9-volt battery tester, but by night he knows how to work the meat.

Later in the evening Shey decided to switch from beer to water and went to the bar to get one.  As she ordered, one of the shady characters sitting at the bar commented about the bar serving water.  The bartender quickly reached over the bar and slapped the shady character to put him in his place.  You gotta like a place that will get violent with it's patrons.

Lisa had been drinking 7-up and somehow or another I was tasked with getting her and Shey a refill.  When I went to the bar I asked for another 7-up (I believe it was her 3rd or 4th serving) and a water (Shey's 2nd serving).  As the bartender filled the glasses she commented, "...that is one 7-up sucking b!tch!"  I couldn't agree more.


Yuktown Highlights

For Christmas I spent Wed-Fri in Yazoo City (a.k.a. Yuktown) with Shey's family and then we headed down to Biloxi to finish out the weekend.  Here are some highlights from the Yuktown portion of the trip:
  • Got to hang out with CAZPAdaGHOST (Shey's cousin) for a little while.  I am a little disappointed though...he did not have any of his CDs on hand that I could buy.
  • Shey surprised me with a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas.  As she handed me the wrapped box she said I would never guess what it was.  I immediately said this is a Red Ryder BB Gun and she asked how I knew.  I'm not sure who she thinks she is dealing with, but I've seen A Christmas Story (one of the best movies ever) enough times to know what a wrapped Red Ryder BB Gun looks like.
  • Shey's father took me deer hunting.  Not that big of a deal for some of you, but this is only my second time ever.  The night before Shey and her sister jokingly warned me not to shoot too big of a buck (better leave those for Daddy) or one of his pets (a couple of does that hang out and are seen almost daily).   As luck would have it, I didn't see any bucks, but I did get to see one small doe (which I did not shoot at).  
  • The day before the big hunt, Shey's father let me take the rifle I would be using (.35 caliber Marlin lever-action) out to the backyard (they live in a very rural area) to do some target practice.  With my first shot I actually hit the bucket I was aiming at.  Then my next three shots missed.
  • After my hunting rifle lesson ended, Shey's father then broke out the AK-47 so I could take a few shots with it.  Amazingly, I actually hit the target a couple of times. 
That is one crazy Asian...don't you know he's loco.  Now I'm ready for Red Dawn.

Driving Tip

We saw this vehicle while stuck in traffic near Baton Rouge on the way home last weekend.  I can appreciate the message they are trying to spread.  It wasn't helping much on that day though as we were at a complete stop.

Monday, December 29, 2008

John's New Hangout

Over the weekend Shey and I were in Biloxi driving around and checking out the rebuilding progress.  There are many landmarks that look different or are completely gone.  While on HWY 90 I was pointing out to Shey where things once stood and where various things had happened.  At one spot in particular I said I believe there used to be a gay bar that Mark went to (or had at least been to once) called Joey's on the Beach.

This made me remember a related topic that deserves a mention.  Known details are somewhat vague, but maybe John will indulge us and share more about his experience.  A few weeks ago, John and Stef were at her office holiday party somewhere in downtown Austin.  At some point after the party they were hitting some of the downtown bars and ended up at the Cockpit.  

What an interesting name for a bar.  No, it's not a bar for ex-pilots.  And it's also not a place where roosters fight.  I've not personally been, but I believe it is a bar where a bunch of bridgebuilders hang out with "great" music.  I'm not exactly sure what to think of this, but I am sure that the dudes there probably did appreciate that John is a man that likes to take care of himself with his manicures and micros.  


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Thirsty anyone?

James bought me some glass beer boots (as seen in Beerfest) a while back. This year he's given me the ability to safely take Das Boots on the road with a fancy new case.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Ebinezer Scrooge

I just had a contractor leave my office in tears because I didn't award him a particular project. Now normally this wouldn't have bothered me a bit, in fact we all would have gotten a good laugh at someone who was unable to control their emotions. However, this particular guy has bid repeatedly and been unsuccessful each time. As he was leaving he stopped turned around and with a tear in his eye said, "Merry Christmas". How am I supposed to respond to that?

After taking a moment to reflect on things, have I become Scrooge? Here's someone who was depending on this job to get by, particullary with the construction market the way it currently is and all I am worried about is meeting schedules and budgets. Now don't get me wrong, I feel fortunate to be in the position that I am in and the only way to get noticed in my business to meet schedules and pinch pennies, so I gotta do what I gotta do, this just made me feel like a dick.

Now I think I know what Les and all the other bleeding heart liberals feel like on a daily basis... good thing the feeling passed quickly.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Sailed into the sunset...

JT called to let me know that Capt Bob (JT's step father) passed away last night and is now sailing into the sunset. Thought I'd share a few memories....

I'll never forget Capt Bob introducing me Bananas Foster (still my favorite to this day).

Watching him sleep with a Winston hanging from his lip wondering if he could actually get thru the entire cig without the ash breaking free.

Capt Bob sailing us to the Bahamas for our senior trip and putting up with 6 punk ass teenage boys. As long as we kept him in steady supply of cold Kalik beer.

Knowing that after 4 years of high school and untold cases of beer that J and I lifted from his supply Capt Bob never once complained.

You will be missed....

Friday, December 19, 2008

Are you supposed to do that?




What little golf ability I had seems to have disappeared after Aaron left town, but at least I stayed on the cart path today.

Last minute gift ideas

1. Burger King Flame: Whopper Body Spray

Keeping the story alive

You may recall the origin of Nunnrey's other alias, the Chicken Lover. Just in case here is a small recap. Back in 2000, while I was living with boy Shay in Flowood (outside of Jackson, MS) there was a weekend when JT, Nunnrey, John came in town to visit for a weekend.

The night started off at the apartment and John was trying to get in touch with another high school friend known as The Dr. Come to find out The Dr. actually lived in the same apartment complex as me. After The Dr. and John got their bearings they figured out they were actually looking at each other on balconies across the parking lot.

The Dr. came over to have some drinks with us and reminisced that some African-American gentlemen used to live in my apartment before us. He went on to explain that they had this large, red couch that he could see from his apartment. At that point boy Shay interjected that this was actually his old couch. After The Dr. took his foot out of his mouth we all had a good laugh.  While I don't actually remember seeing the red couch I will never forget it.

Next, we all headed out to get our grub on at Outback Steakhouse.  While I know the name is misleading, this is actually a restaurant that specializes in steaks.  I seem to recall that we had a rather large party that included a couple of females.  When the food started coming out I can remember the waitstaff calling out entree names so that each of us could claim it.  I distinctly remember both females having some sort of beef related dish.

Somewhere along the line we heard Alice Springs Chicken being called out.  I believe the music must have come to a screeching halt as everyone around our table looked up to see who ordered the chicken.  While Nunnrey will tell you now that they messed up his order it was indeed what he had asked for and a new nickname was born.  We salute you Mr. Chicken Lover.

Fast forward 8 years to present time.  Earlier this month I was placing an order to Omaha Steaks.  My wife chimed in with a money idea, "How about you order some chicken from there for Nunnrey for Christmas?"  What a genius idea.  So I went ahead and placed a gift order for Nunnrey so he would receive some of the finest marinated chicken breasts from Omaha Steaks.

That package arrived this week and I received the following text message from Nunnrey:
Hahahha you fools... You ordered chicken and ham from omaha 'steaks'... What a bunch of morons!
Note: The ham he is referring to came free with every delivery.

Anyway, I thought it was an appropriate gift for the Chicken Lover.  Maybe he'll cook us up some chicken fajitas with it the next time we visit.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Exorcist Steps



Was in and around Georgetown and DC earlier this week for work.  One notable site I saw this time is the staircase leading down to M Street that is shown in The Exorcist.  As you can imagine, I did not climb them.  It was a cold and raining, not to mention I don't think there was an ambulance waiting for me at the top had I tried.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Asians and Airports

What's up with Asians at airports wearing those surgical masks? I must have missed that day on Asian training day. I see that somewhat frequently and it sort of creeps me out. Don't like it at all.

Friday, December 12, 2008

What's the Holdup?

I think there are a few things somewhat behind schedule from being posted here:
  • Mark, where are your pics and stories from India?  Not very often someone from this group arrives in a foreign city the day after a terrorist attack ends.  Let's hear about it.
  • Michael, did you make it out to The Playboy Mansion?  That camera is like an extension of your hand...you know we need some pics.  If you didn't make it out there then there better be a good story as to why not.
  • Mark, when you gonna share some pics of your Biloxi mansion?  I'll get John to send his mother-in-law over there with a list of HOA problems if you don't.
And congrats out to Aaron.  He has a new boy as of last week.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

MSU Coach


December 10, 2008

STARKVILLE, Miss. – The Mississippi State athletic department has announced plans to introduce its 32nd head football coach on Thursday, December 11. The initial event will be held at 10 a.m. in the Templeton Athletic Academic Center.  Doors will open at 9 a.m.
 
The fan event will feature the new head coach, interim president Dr. Roy Ruby and director of athletics Greg Byrne, and will be followed by a press conference.
 
After the Starkville event, Byrne and the new head coach will are tentatively scheduled to attend events around the state of Mississippi, and those plans will be announced when finalized.

Sounds like ESPN and all of the bloggers agree that it's going to be Dan Mullen, the offensive coordinator from Florida.  Sounds good to me...anyone have any interesting insight or problems with that?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Greg Byrne Wikipedia Page

Was looking at Greg Byrne's Wikipedia page and it's entertaining.  I took a screen shot just in case someone edits out the good part.  Here is the excerpt I'm talking about:
Byrne is the current athletics director. On July 1, 2008. On June 7, 2008, Byrne hired John Cohen to replace Ron Polk, who retired in March. Polk, who endorsed his assistant Tommy Raffo upon his retirement, protested the hire, and called Byrne unqualified. However, Polk had only underestimated the greatness that is Greg Byrne. It has been rumored that Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer wear Greg Byrne pajamas.


Friday, December 5, 2008

Ryder, beware of...

Four women in a white suburban that look like they've been eating a lot of McDonald's.

Women sought in Sixth Street abductions

Police say they are looking for four women suspected of abducting men on Sixth Street, stealing their credit or debit cards and running up the bills on those cards by buying as much as $3,000 worth of gift cards and other items at stores such as Wal-Mart, McDonald's and Walgreens.

Police have not released detailed descriptions or photographs of the suspects, or the victims' names.

Austin Police Department Sgt. Justin Newsom said that the women's three victims reported they were picked up in a white Suburban and awoke later with little memory of what else had occurred.

He said that one man said he was robbed Sept. 20 and the other two men on Oct. 18.

Newsom said that two of the men woke up in a hotel parking lot. The other was "kicked out of the van" and his wallet was taken, Newsom said. He said that all of the victims reported that they had been drugged, but that "there is no actual evidence of that."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

More coach stuff

Think Auburn's search hurts us any, or they aiming higher than we are?

For you high rollers

The Black Card awaits.

What is JT Hiding?

From FOXNews.com:
Dozens of young Somali men in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area have disappeared in recent months, causing community members and U.S. intelligence officials to fear that they are joining jihadist groups in Somalia.

What sort of operation are you running up there, JT?  I know you used to drive that one guy around in college so he could run his "errands", but have you now escalated your role?  I don't like it at all.  Shouldn't yall be busy making garden gnomes and helping Santa get ready for Christmas?

Monday, December 1, 2008

Pawn Shopping

Holiday pawning is popular according to News 8 Austin:
"We have bracelets, earrings, rings, men's, women's, children's, watches, Rolexes, TVs, CDs, DVDs, computers, tools, guns," Vargas said.

The staff of Action Pawn in Round Rock said their store rarely finds itself this well-stocked. They said they've had an 11 percent increase in loans.

"It's been busy as far as sales and as far as people needing a little extra money to make it through the week. With the holidays ... to have an unexpected family member to stop by. So they need money for extra groceries or gas," Vargas said.
I think I know a couple of people that made a living in college by selling goods to pawn shops.  

Any of you guys ever buy jewelry from a pawn shop?  You ain't gots to lie. 

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Who do we get now?

Croom has resigned. After yesterday's game, I was willing for one more year but would have had to see something come out of that offense that has been nothing for his tenure. I am sad to see him go, personally. I think there were some good things to come out of his time a State and wish him the best.

So, the big question is: Who the hell, now?

Friday, November 28, 2008

Thankful even after Thanksgiving

I haven't posted in a while but hopefully I can get back in the groove. Following previous posts from James and MSUJameson, I'd like to post things that I am thankful for this year:

*I'm thankful I was not out shopping today amongst all of the crazies. As you probably have heard by now, there was a shooting today at my local Toys 'R' Us store. Thank God I bought my Wii months ago. This also provides me with ammo (no pun intended) the next time my girlfriend complains about me shopping online too much.

*Like MSUJameson, my 401k is down 49%.....I'm thankful it's not 100%!

*I'm thankful that I live far enough away from the South that no one is likely to give me shit about our shitty football team!

*I'm thankful for slot machines. On Wednesday night, I walked into a local casino who had sent me some free slot play in the mail. That evening, I inserted $0 into the slot machine yet walked away with $400. Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!!!

On a closing note...in regards to James' question about Croom.....fire his ass!!!!

Interesting Association

Apparently, there there is such a thing as a Lap Dancing Association according to this article.  I wonder if there are any spots available on their board?

Holy crap MSU sucks at football.  Today was painful.  Anybody have any thoughts on what will happen with Croom (if anything)?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thankful continued....

There are plenty of things to be thankful for this year:

  • I am thankful for the Smokey Hollow Electric Smoker that will allow me to cook the Turkey with little effort.
  • I am thankful that my 401k is not zero (although 40% down makes me sad)
  • I am thankful for Hooters passports. Gotta love 250 free wings.

I am sure there are plenty of other things for which to be thankful, but i just didn't want James to be lonely out here.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I wanted to share some things we should all be thankful for:
  • First and foremost...thick skin and a sense of humor.  Even after Luke and Mike C. broke into the Little Brown Crack House and turned everything upside down I finally caved after a few days of boredom and invited them back over to drink.
  • Flo & Eddie's - It's a shame it burned down.  Here is The Reflector article from 2001 about the fire which happened in the early morning hours on Thanksgiving Day while Luke and I watched from across the street.  Most of us had some great times there while in school.  Tonight make sure you tip your drink in tribute to Flo's.
  • That hot, crazy, naked chick (aka the pre-Cruise Katie Holmes look-alike) that lived across the street from the LBC.  The first time I met her was in the front yard while we were drinking and grilling.  She came over to chat and bummed a beer and a dip.  Two words come to mind: HOT and AWESOME!  You stay classy crazy, naked chick.
  • Nunnrey and Deebo are kind enough to offer assistance and a jacket to the crazy, naked chick while she sits in the middle of Maxwell Street screaming about her pills that her boyfriend just ran off with.  My guess is that it was in the low 40s that evening and hopefully she is thankful for the assistance she received.
  • Nunnrey heard the baby crying and decided to recruit Deebo to check it out to make sure everything was okay at the crazy, naked chick's apartment.
  • Deebo touched her butt.
  • That it really wasn't an earthquake that shook the Cotton District seven years ago.  It was just Nunnrey falling backwards down the stairs and taking all of the hanging pictures with him while Deebo was touching the crazy, naked chick's butt after they heard a baby crying and decided to invite themselves in to the apartment.
I know I'm thankful.  Feel free to share your list as well so I'll at least know John's not the only other person reading this.

Pig Butchering Guide



Nunnrey is too busy (maybe eating or testing out bathrooms) to post this for you guys, but I thought I'd share.  I know I know...why would the chicken lover be interested in this?  My guess is that while chicken is #1 in his heart, it's probably wrapped in bacon.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's on



James and I went up to Spec's to grab some Firefly. Well guess what? There's some sweet tea vodka competition. Sweet Carolina. James mixed me up a pretty stiff Firefly tonight. Sweet C. is next.

Afternoon Snack

The turbaconducken looks promising.  I'm wondering if this is what Nunnrey will be cooking up on Thanksgiving to go with his Luther Burgers.  Would be even better if they could figure out a way to chicken fry it.

Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka in Texas

John broke the news to me earlier so I'll share the good news.  According to the Firefly website:
Products are currently available in South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Virginia, Colorado, Nevada, Kentucky, Louisiana, Ohio, Arizona, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Texas, Alabama, Wisconsin, New Jersey, and New York.

I'm sure we'll be enjoying some with our Thanksgiving feast which should be a step up from John's bobo version.

Monday, November 24, 2008

John Loves Work...My Work That Is

You guys all know how much John loves dealing with customers...and people in general for that matter.  On Friday I had some repetitive work to be done taking one list and cross referencing it with some large log files to extract some information for our marketing firm.  Manually this probably would have taken a couple of days and would have made me cross-eyed.

My alternatives were to do it myself or to let our marketing firm do it and bill us hourly.  I thought the task could easily be automated...just not by me.  So I decided to test John's brotherly love.  I wrote up some requirements and emailed them to him late Friday.  Saturday morning he called me from Biloxi to confirm some of the details and in about an hour he emailed me a script to do what I needed.

First, I got the Roomba to vacuum my house.  Now I've got John doing my work for me.  If I can convince someone to exercise for me I'll have a bunch more time to do what I excel at...drinking beer and holding the couch in place.  Mad props to John for taking care of me.

Carl's Jr coming to Austin

We don't have Hardee's, but it does look like we're getting Carl's Jr. next month.

http://austin.jobnewsusa.com/job/I618Z630F618I636G621M630.aspx

I could go for a six dollar burger.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

JT Rocks

Nice wrap up to the weekend:
  • Our Dawgs were able land a W and break the mind control Arkansas has had over us.
  • While going through my mail yesterday I had a nice surprise package from Minnesota.  It contained our Passports.  Now I'm waiting on JT to update his map.  I had some Hooters last night to celebrate.  Those Daytona wings are pretty damn good.
  • Had an unexpected visit from Mark B. Thursday night.  He was in Houston for some work stuff and he swung up to Austin for the night.  He's got all kinds of exciting news to share...maybe he'll share on the blog so I don't have to steal his thunder.
  • Now I guess off to the grocery store to pick-up some items for the feast later this week.
Anybody have any good or bad info about that AT&T U-verse?  Was thinking about switching over to save a few bucks.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Wheel of Fortune

As some of you are aware, the Wheel of Fortune slots are an all time favorite of our Vegas crew.  Some chick won $2.4 million on one during her first trip to Vegas this week while celebrating the "remembrance of her grandmother's birthday."  You can read about it at FoxNews.com.

I guess that's a decent enough excuse to get to Vegas.  I wonder if she was using any of the Winning Slot Moves?

Friday, November 14, 2008

Breakfast Club

On my way in to work this morining I heard that The Breakfast Club was playing here in New Bern this weekend... It's good to know that they still get around and help people drink and make bad decisions.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mmmmm... Bacon

While watching TV last night I came across a show counting down the best places to eat fried food... what really started to make my mouth water was the chicken-fried bacon served up at "The Steak House" in Snook, TX. Being a fat ass I have alway dreamed of eating fried bacon becasue as with Old Mil, "it don't get no better than that." I was hoping that a couple of my Phi Alpha Tau brothers there in Texas would make the trip so that I may live vicariously though them. I am not sure where Snook, TX is at but I am pretty sure no matter how far, the drive would be worth it. As an added bonus, the chicken-fried bacon is served with a side of gravy, I can feel the heartattack now.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Food Safety Advisory

We went down to Nunnrey's over the weekend to enjoy some San Antonio hospitality and bet on the ponies at Retama Park. Nunnrey, being a gracious host, puts out a spread of snacks after we finished up at Retama; candy, chips, Julio's Salsa, etc.

So I'm enjoying some plain corn chips and salsa, but notice after a while that some of these chips taste like Doritos. I asked Nunnrey about it, and was told, "Yeah, I had a bag of Doritos that was almost empty, and dumped the crumbs in there."

Now I have to be wary about the sanctity of the free food over there.

Orange juice almost empty? Dump it in the milk jug.
Didn't finish that can of tuna? Better put the rest in the peanut butter.

To top it off:

We went by our favorite S. A. burrito place on the way out of town. Last year I spotted that they had a bug problem. I told one of the kids working there, and I guess it wasn't that big a deal to him (I guess he's used to them). Well guess what? They still have that bug problem.

Bottom Line:

Watch out when you're eating in S. A., Esé.

Monday, November 10, 2008

A Large Disturbance?

From the latest Bad Dawgs from The Reflector:
10:17 p.m. MSU Police responded to the area around Rice Hall for a call about a large disturbance.

Too bad they didn't provide a little more information.  By large to they mean like a big girl?

Friday, November 7, 2008

Helpful Tips

Last night I learned some valuable lessons about Bentley cars and I want to share just in case this happens to you:
  • In case of a dead battery don't bother trying to get under the hood. The battery is in the trunk in a side compartment.
  • In case of a dead battery don't bother trying to get into the trunk because it has an electric opener only. There is no keyhole to manually open the trunk.
  • In case of a dead battery don't bother with calling the Bentley Roadside Assistance since all they will do is tell you that they will dispatch a tow truck for you.
  • In case of a dead battery don't bother calling your friend that has a similar Bentley because chances are they won't know what to do either.
  • Here is what you can do in case of a dead battery. The car has an auxiliary battery that you can activate by inserting the key into the ignition, turning it all the way counter-clockwise, and then attempting to crank the car.

And no I don't own a Bentley (they cost more than my house), but one of my company's investors does have one and I learned these valuable tips in our parking lot last night.  So next time you find yourself in a similar situation, or you get the call from one of your makin' it rain buddies you can now save the day with this knowledge.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Hypermiling in my new ride




I bought a Chevy 1500 a couple weeks ago. If I can figure out how to keep it closer to 90 MPG than 2 on a consistent basis I'll be set.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Hotty Toddy

This morning I'm on my way to work just minding my business and trying to find some music on the radio (as opposed to the hooray for our new Pres chatter). This Toyota pick-up truck comes flying up beside me and the dude is waving and honking to get my attention. He points back and then speeds up so I can see his Ole Miss sticker and car tag. Gotta love the SEC.

All I need now is a kick to the nads to have a perfect morning started.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Mirror Mirror...

Shrek, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were all having lunch together.
Shrek said, 'I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in
the world, but how can I be sure?'

Angelina Jolie agreed. 'I'm told I'm the most gorgeous of them
all, but sometimes I wonder.'

Brad Pitt said, 'I'm pretty sure I'm the sexiest man alive but
I've never had it confirmed.'

They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were
true was to ask the famed talking 'mirror, mirror on the wall' to
confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest, Angelina Jolie was the
most gorgeous and Brad Pitt was the sexiest.

They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.

The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. 'Well, it's true. The
mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world.'

Angelina Jolie perked up and said: 'And I know for sure that I'm the most
gorgeous woman in the world.'

But Brad Pitt just sat there, lifted his emotionless face and said...'Who the
heck is this Ryder guy???

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The people have spoken


And they don't like my shot. Apparently I made it a little too heavy on the praline liqueur...

Wii bowling clinic



James got his comeuppance last night. He's considered himself the king of Wii bowling since we've been playing. I put him in his place though. 3-0 (that's me on the left).

Monday, October 27, 2008

I'm not a smart man, but I know what voting is.

Texas has early voting going from 10/20 - 10/31 this year. James and I decided to go ahead and get it out of the way this past weekend. To my dismay they only had the electronic voting machines. I'm a paper ballot man, but what can you do?

Anyway, they had volunteers manning the area with the machines to make sure everyone was capable of reading a screen and pushing buttons. I guess I don't look very savvy because James had already cast his vote for hope or change before my helper had gotten past asking me if I wanted English or Spanish.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sweet Tea Vodka - Texas Style


As mentioned in John's liver story; he did try out his own brand of sweet tea and vodka since he was unable to partake at the Vandy game. I took a sip and I can't say it's as good as the Fire Fly, but after the 8 or 9 beers I had it was decent.


And you can see the Chicken Express logo on the tea. John tried to buy a t-shirt, but apparently you must be an employee to get that hot item.

John ate his liver

Yesterday, we had some Chicken Express for dinner.  Every time I see their logo it makes me think of Nunnrey.  The chicken tenders are great, but I would still prefer some Raising Cane's sauce over the white gravy.

Anyway, Shey for some reason has a liking for fried chicken livers.  I learned this on a trip to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.  I'm not a huge fan of the livers as I think they are a little gritty, but since I saw them on the menu at Chicken Express I decided to pick some up (specifically for Shey) to go with our chicken and catfish dinner.

John claims he's never had liver so I told him he should try one.  He refused, but Shey called him a sissy so he gave it a whirl.  There were no fava beans or Chianti for John's Hannibal meal, but he did have some sweet tea with vodka (not to be confused with The Sweet Tea Vodka).  Once John got through the fried goodness and his teeth sunk into that liver he started whining like a little girl about how gross it was.  

I'm not sure if he actually swallowed it or not, but this one goes up there with his fear of roaches for how much of a little punk he is.  I assume this means you'll never see John on any survival shows in the future.

May I Borrow Your Paper?

Background:  From my backyard I have a view of another neighborhood.  Often times while outside I get to hear the joys of one of the residents of that neighborhood yelling at his kids and/or his dogs.  The dude is probably about 325-350 lbs and just about as wide as he is tall.  I don't think he's necessarily violent with the kids (don't think he could catch them if he tried)...he just likes to raise his voice a lot.

So this morning I'm out in my backyard putting up my sprinkler and water hose.  The fat dude and his two kids are outside as well.  It looks like he is working on a deer feeder as it is sitting in the driveway and slightly disassembled, but at the current moment he appears to be looking at a newspaper on the tailgate of his truck.  The older kid is standing by his dad waiting for orders.  The younger kid is running around in the yard whining about something.  The dad yells at the younger kid to stop whining.

Now, I see the fat dude putting the paper back in the plastic sleeve in which it was delivered.  He then hands it to the older kid who starts walking down the street.  The dad tells him to run so the kid starts jogging.  The kid jogs down to a house about 2 doors down and is about to put the paper in the driveway when the dad yells, "...not under the car!!"  So the kid drops the paper behind the car and then makes a mad dash back to his house.

Uh...WTF??  I'll mind my business as maybe they have some sort of agreement with the neighbors or something.  What kind of crap is that if there is no deal in place.  He's teaching his kids to steal newspapers?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Pavlov's Dog

So I'm rolling thru Kentucky, listening to the radio and "Freebird" comes on. The first thought that pops into my head is a flashback to Suite 1 listening to Brandon and Jennifer screwing to this song 4 times a day.

So if that is the thoughts inspired by hearing that tune for me... Think Brandon pops wood like some perverted Pavlov's Dog? Lol

Friday, October 17, 2008

Bad Dawgs

One of the many joys of my college life was checking out the Bad Dawgs section of The Reflector.  I can remember some proud moments when fraternity brothers bragged about their drunken conquests being documented, and I can remember reading some of the more lame incidents as well.  I believe one of the more memorable incidents was a report of someone falling because of uneven pavement.

Here are a couple I wanted to share from today's edition of Bad Dawgs:
7:35 p.m. An employee reported seeing a bow and arrows on the back floorboard of a vehicle at the Hunter Henry Center. It was determined the vehicle was not on Mississippi State University campus.

Why is some nosey employee looking in the back of vehicles on the floorboard.  And better yet why is that employee trying to snitch?  Maybe they should watch some of those prison shows so they can see what happens to snitches.
1:31 a.m. A student was reported to have fallen off of a bicycle on Stone Boulevard.

Did it happen or not?  And regardless, was it that slow of a news day that this was the only thing worthy of documenting?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Vandy Trip Wrap-Up

We had a really good trip down to Starkville over the weekend.  Here are some of my notes:
  • Ran up a ~$500 tab at The Grill Friday night.  Even better than that...JT picked it up.  What a guy!
  • Sweet Tea Vodka is good...no...actually it's awesome.  Thanks Lukey and Vanessa for bringing down your stash.  Shay, next time you mix one up remember to use half water.  And thanks to this drink we actually ran out of bottled water before we ran out of beer at the tailgate.
  • Had a nice setup in The Junction for tailgating.  Big shout out to Devin for taking care of the cooking duties.  Although we didn't get any Luther Burgers, Devin did hook us up with some of his Deebo's Delight burgers.
  • Potato salad from Bulldog Deli is still like ambrosia.
  • Pool + JT + Nunnrey = lots o' water displacement
  • Devin really is a dirty Mexican.  After digging around in the mud to try and find Vanessa's shoes (walking back to get truck after tailgate), he bathed in the water fountain in front of the Comfort Suites.
  • Pork chop and gravy biscuit from Hardee's hits the spot pretty well in the morning while you're hungover.
  • JT and I took a tour of the Little Brown Crackhouse.  It's still pretty much the same, but the flooring in the kitchen has been replaced and they have a dishwashing machine now (that's BS).  Oh yeah, and it smelled like hippies lived there.  And I was a little disappointed that there was nobody over there drinking on a Friday night of a home game.
  • That's what Deebo loves about college girls, man.  He gets older, they stay the same age.
Definitely had a great time and I always enjoy getting back together with the crew.  We should try to make it a yearly thing to make it out to at least one home game.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Money Well Spent

I'll attribute State's victory today to my GamePlan purchase and Luke's 5 bottles of Sweet Tea Vodka in Starkville.

ESPN GamePlan

Since all the high rollers went to the game I decided to treat myself. I picked up GamePlan for the day, and am enjoying all the Mich Ultra Lime Cacti I can drink. GamePlan is $21.95! How much do they need to charge before they'll do it in HD???

Wow, that was a nice 4 yd punt. We're still winning though (8:32 left in 2Q), and that's all that matters.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Get to Work

Day by day I have the joy of showing up to work so I can hear my co-workers discuss politics.  On this great day (day after the VP nominee debate) my co-workers have now been going on for an hour discussing the debate, economy, war, etc.  Each week the discussions get slightly more heated and run on longer and longer.

I can't wait for all of this to be over so maybe some of these jokers can get back to doing the work we are paying them to do.  Unfortunately, my guess is that it probably won't end there.  If McCain wins I'll get to hear about how we are just getting 4 more years of the same.  If Obama wins I'll get to hear about how all of his wonderful change.

In my personal opinion, most of the people in my office are unqualified and should not be debating the topics they are discussing.  How about rather than arguing our energy policy...you get to working on some of the bugs in our product so we can keep our jobs?

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Word Swap

Check out this article about KFC over at FOXNews.com.  

Make a couple word changes:
her = him
Jackson = Nunnrey

Now re-read the story...much funnier.  Nunnrey loves his chicken.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Vandy Game Plans

As mentioned back in July some of us are headed to the Vandy game at MSU on October 11. If you haven't already made your plans you've still got time.
  • Shey and I should get to Starkville sometime mid-Friday afternoon (coming from Jackson).

  • JT, Lisa, Nunnrey, Kaci are flying into Memphis with a pitstop in Tunica Thursday night, and they will get up to Starkville on Friday.

  • I now have confirmation that Luke and Vanessa will be West Bound and Down with some of Lukey's sweet tea vodka arriving sometime Friday.

  • Deebo should be headed out as well.

  • I've got reports that Crunk Craig and wife are gonna come hang out as well.

We will be working out some tailgating details in the coming days. I'm hoping Nunnrey will cook us up some of his Luther Burgers.

Biloxi Cold Case

Was checking out the Sun Herald online tonight and saw a Murder arrest made in case of missing teen. Thought there may be a few of you Biloxi boys that might be interested. I didn't personally know either of them, but I do remember seeing that girl around at school.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Crack kits

'Crack kits' seized from 4 stores

Shouldn't these store owners be receiving some kind of efficiency innovation award? How much time have you wasted running around a store looking for glass pens, a copper scrubbing pad, and a lighter?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bad Teacher Poll Analysis

Obviously an interesting topic. Three responses about whether jail time is warranted for former Biloxi teacher.

No, the embarrassment is punishment enough.
2 (66%)

Yes, a few months or years.
1 (33%)

Somebody out there wants the poor girl to be playing basketball in Pelican Bay.

Passport Update

Two left in two books, 1 left in the other 2. Latest conquests include St. Cloud, MN, Hooters at the Mall of American in Bloomington, MN, and the Cumberland Hooters in the burbs of Atlanta, GA.


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Bad teacher

Since Biloxi's favorite former teacher was in the news today I thought I'd add a new poll. What do you think about the possible sentence she's facing?

Bonus travel tip: James is handy in situations like this. We were driving from Jackson to Starkville around the time this story initially surfaced, and he kept me entertained by reading the comments off of badbadteacher.com on his blackberry.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I love my Cub

I don't care what JT says about his wife, she's pretty cool in my book. What did I find in my mailbox yesterday? A stack of I love my Cub window clings. You see, when we went up to MN for their wedding I saw cars around town with these bumper stickers. After everybody stopped giggling JT and Lisa informed us that Cub Foods is a grocery store. Anyway, I'm sporting one on the truck now.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

How hard can it be?

Ryder, here's that drawing you needed to get done in order to make it to the auction.



The rest of your day is wide open now.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

State at GA Tech on the Sept 20

Anyone on here going to Atlanta for that game. I have work there on Monday and Tuesday that I will be flying in for and am willing to come in earlier for the game if I know someone who will be going and share some of the hotel costs with.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Platinum Plus Auction

Ryder, I expect the next time we come to Memphis that your house is fully furnished with stuff from this auction.  I think satellite #2 would look great in your dining room.

I wonder if the other half of that outfit Daniel stole is still hanging on that rack?

WWDD

From AOL News Austrailia:
A best man, allegedly raped by a stripper with a sex toy, had stepped in for the groom who "wasn't interested" in his bucks' party's strip show, a court has heard.

What Would Daniel Do? I'm betting he would have screamed like a little girl and asked for another. Then he would have shared some pizza crust with her.

New halftime entertainment...

Not sure if I ever got this kind of favor during a MSU game but I do know it was never on national TV.....

Diggin for Gold

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Watermelon Fest

OK...I read an article that James sent out about the food collection for watermelon fest that goes to the salvation army. If there was one thing my extreme jewism in life has caused is this article. If memory serves correctly (which it may not because i was drunk a lot that semester) we initially started collecting food during the Watermelon Fest in which I was in charge. The reason behind this was that I was not a big fan giving hard earned money to the United Way which was our charity up to that point (too much much of the cash goes to administration rather than helping). So I am not going to lie, I am proud of that change and that it has continued to the point that such amounts of food are being collected.

Of course it could have been the year before when Daniel was VP. But, I think that was my year the change was made. Help me out Daniel, if you remember.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ellis

I just saw the date today and it reminded me of that old fake ID of Ellis' that I used for so many years. Got to love the ability to hand a fake ID to the outstanding police force of Columbus, MS as you are standing outside Classics and your friends all about to load up in the paddy wagon.

Anyway, just for old time sakes...

My name is Walter E Redacted from Florence, MS born 9/5/Redacted... I'm a virgo (lucky guess one day when the bouncer at some strip club asked what i was) and used to live at Redacted in Florence, MS 39073... SSN: 4..3.8... (i still got it but for his sake i won't give it to yall)...

but really, one of the best times was when me, Andrew, Ellis, and I think somebody else all used the ID to get into platinum... All of a sudden, over the loudspeaker comes the DJ's voice... "would walter Redacted please come to the bar"... ut oh... we all look at each other trying to figure out who should go... well, i don't know who went but apparently i had left my jacket with my wallet in it in a chair somewhere (probably by satelite #2).

good times... and remember... PLATINUM SAVES LIVES

Thursday, September 4, 2008

What the....?

So I started this new job at EMC at the end of May. Pretty good company and a great job.
Anyhow they sent me to Boston for a week of training that included the ususal death by powerpoint that leaves you feeling like you tried to drink from a firehose. So the last night they bring in this "Tony Robbins" like motivational speaker to talk to us about thinking outside the box and pushing our limits, yada, yada, yada...... So at the end he brings us outside of the hotel conference room to the parking lot. They had a big tent setup and a bon fire and by this point I am thinking ok drinks and casual conversation for the rest of the night. Not so fast my friends....



Thats right I am now a certified "Firewalker". How you like me now??


Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Nunnrey's Luther Burgers

Nunnrey can't seem to work up the energy to create an account on here, so I'm going to kickstart his blogging career. I told him about Luther Burgers last week, and it got him excited enough that they made some at work on Friday. Here's the fruit of his labor.



He chronicled the crew's taste test in detail, but since we don't know any of them nobody cares. His supplies list in case you want to make your own:

1) ground beef/sirloin
2) sharp cheddar cheese slices
3) bacon, the more the better (as determined by taste testing)
4) Your eating pants

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

East Bound and Down....

What a day. Jerry Reed dies and I have been known to bootleg a case of beer or two across state lines to the Smokey and the Bandit hit song.

Also, the voice over king of movie trailers has passed as well. He will be missed by so many.

Oh No... We Suck Again!

After having a few days to digest the latest peice of crap that Mississppi State Football has produced I am left wondering... Why do the Bulldogs always seem to have the other teams setting some sort of record against them? (This goes for the basketball team also) Is it that the opponents are so pumped about playing MSU that they are completely focused and determined to bring the pain (football) and make it rain (basketball) or do the bulldogs just suck so bad that they have no way of preventing these record breaking preformances?

A few recent preformances come to mind... Shane Foster putting 33 on us last year in basketball for Vandy??? WTF was that... he beat us singlehandedly, did Stans not see this happening, should we have employed the Hack-A-Shane defence... LSU intercepting us 7 times in the season opener last year, I mean seriously, Croom waited to pull Henig after 5 INT's... I guess that was the breaking point. I don't even want to think about Maine, Troy, and now La Tech.

I am starting to think that I have some sadomasochistic tendancies becasue I routinely subject myself to the punishment of being an MSU fan... the worst part about it is that I pay for this through donations and buying season tickets that I don't even use since I live 12 hours away. I am seriously considering the possiblity of stopping all financial support of Bulldog athletics immediately and spending my time and money with Mistress Troy instead. This way I may at least get some kind of sexual satisfaction to go along with my pain, shame and embarassment/self-loathing that I seem to somehow enjoy so much that I keep coming back for more.


For once I just want the feeling of bringing sadness to another nigga's momma, on the feild of athletic competion of course.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Vegas Wrap-up: The Outing

Some final ramblings from the Vegas trip:
  • No luck on the $5 slots this time around. Lost half of the investment Thursday night at MGM Grand and then lost the rest of it the next night at The Palms. Gave it one last shot with $100 in a $5 Wheel of Fortune on the way out, but didn't hit jack.
  • I earned 1700+ points at The Palms playing on the video poker machines. I might have a touch of carpal tunnel now. Total I think I racked up 3500+ points at The Palms including other slots.
  • After two nights of losing at the tables I had all but decided not to play on my last night, but then I saw The Palms had a $5 blackjack table (yep that was on Friday night). I couldn't pass that up so I decided to try my luck with $100. Within 15 minutes I got up to about $190 and was set on walking away if I could get to $200. Well, you know how that goes...didn't quite work out that way, but I did walk away with my original $100 and a few beers in me.
  • All in all we really enjoyed The Palms.

I guess I'll now explain the title reference to The Outing. Thursday night while watching some college football with Michael and his girl (Iris), she began telling us some more about Michael. Michael had mentioned that they had known and worked with each other for quite a while now, but they never really talked. Michael went on to say that Iris had a friend that was sort of into him, but Iris was steady talking her out of it. Then Iris chimed in that she was talking her friend out of it because she thought Michael was gay.

Iris went on to explain that it was somewhat common knowledge around the workplace that Michael is gay. Iris said she even asked her gay boss to use his super gaydar powers to get the truth. The boss confirmed, Michael is definitely gay.

I don't think Michael appreciated Iris running her mouth since he specifically thanked her (sarcasm inserted) for telling me. And I believe he said something along the lines of, "...now he's going to blog about it and all of my friends will be giving me sh!t for months to come." Michael doesn't know us very well. We won't be giving him a hard time for months to come. Just ask Nunnrey...he's been hearing that chicken lover story for over 8 years now.

Anyway, Michael seemed happy and Iris seems to be doing a good job of converting him straight. Try to take it easy on Michael's gayness. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

You remember "Smiley" from BHS??

So I have found another addicting internet past time (not porn related), Facebook. James why the hell did you turn me onto MySpace when there was this much better alternative?? Anyhow I set up my profile and have been getting reconnected to all sorts of old friends.... Wendy Broussard, Nicole Surrian, physicist and fatty Ms Olsen, Cherie Chester (ackk).

Anyhow I also received a friend request from Jennifer Oldham ( if your not from BHS move along). Seems she is now living in Kansas and just won some reality show called Design Star. Michael and John are probably fans but I had never heard of the show. Anyhow now you will be able to tell people you know someone with their own TV show as that was the grand prize.

Enough I have football to watch.....

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Vegas Report

Observations from the Vegas trip so far:
  • Our room at Hooters smells like chicken wings. I sort of like it.
  • Our first room at Hooters smelled like skunk and didn't have linens. Didn't really like that which is why we moved to the chicken wing room.
  • Our room at The Palms is nice...too bad it's so far away. And yes, we're high rollers like that with two rooms. They both offered up some free rooms and free play so we booked them both. We stayed at Hooters last night so we could be closer to Michael over at Planet Hollywood.
  • New York-New York is not the way I remember it. The Big Apple Bar is under construction to be something new. The middle of the casino is walled off and they are building something in there. The rest of the casino has been re-arranged. I do not like it.
  • Nunnrey is still texting me thinking he is going to actually show up out here this weekend. Frankly, I'm not sure what the hold up is...I already found him tickets for < $300 and he has some free/cheap room deals.
  • Michael did the smart thing and got him an Asian girl. We already have an immediate bond and can point and laugh at the two crackers we're with.
  • Slot report: not to shabby so far. Have played Wheel of Fortune at 3 casinos and they've all been friendly enough to let me walk away even. Shey...not so much.
  • Against my better judgement after everyone went to bed I went back downstairs to play some blackjack. Hooters has $3 blackjack 24/7. Of course that table was full so I decided to sit at the $10 table. Was down $100 in less than 5 minutes, but wanted to give myself a chance to grind it out and get back to even. Well, let's just say the only thing that was ground out was my chip stack. I couldn't ever get back up to even (probably $50 shy at best) and I finally gave up $150 down because I was falling asleep. The one thing I did win...a DVD. They have some promotion going on that if you get a suited blackjack you get What Happens in Vegas. That might be the most expensive DVD I ever purchased.
  • Let's hope for some big money when we play the pooled $5 cherry. Nunnrey...you could come do it in person tonight if you want. Don't be scared.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

So Hot... Want to touch the hiney...

So, many of you have probably heard on the news or have seen it in your everyday searchings on the internet, but Memphis is making headlines with Jacquelyn (this is the news channel 5 link that is SFW). She has recently exposed herself at a park in Bartlett and the Putt Putt on summer. It has become quite a stir around town and everybody is trying to figure out where she will show up next. I am thinking the Delta Fair. Hopefully she is willing to try out my log ride, it makes everybody wet. But until then I will keep my eyes out for her and try to catch a show myself.

I guess if they are going to close down the places where activity like this is legal then all the ladies who have been 'stripped' of their jobs should take thier work outside. I think it is the 'exposure' that they are looking for...

(These sites are probably NSFW unless you work somewhere like I do so check them out with your wives when you get home and maybe you can work something out.)
She has a couple videos for sample on her site and her buddies Melissa and Adri also have some commentary on the subject.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Winning Slot Moves

I'm headed to Vegas tomorrow night to meet up with Michael. Because of this I'm reading up on my Vegas news and I ran across an article called 100% Guaranteed Slot Machine Voodoo Maneuvers. It includes some techniques like: The Wipe, The Knock, The Sit, The Peekaboo, etc. While these are entertaining (and I may try some of them out) I think they are missing some of the proven winners we know and love:
  • Hello New User: When you are on a bad streak using pooled money you simply swap out the player cards to trick the machine into thinking a new user has sat down. You'll also need to say in a computer voice, "Hello, New User" when the slot greets you on its electronic display. Advanced: Cash out the ticket and then re-use the same ticket after the card swap.
  • The Massage: Just like a woman, a slot machine needs to be caressed a bit before she'll pay out. Give the machine a nice rub down.
  • The Claw: This is Shey's favorite, but it's worked for me on several occasions. Pull the lever and hold it in the fully engaged position until all reels stop spinning.
  • The Smoker: Have your smoking partner blow smoke at the machine while playing. Slots love to smoke. A slot that isn't afraid to smoke isn't afraid to pay out.

And of course there are others, but I don't want to spill all of our secrets.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Speaking of water usage

James wanted me to relay this tale. We go meet a tenant last night to renew her lease.

Turns out the city had left a note on the door telling her she's been using too much water. She says the toilet in the second bathroom has been running constantly like the one in the master did (prior to James's plumbery). We check it out, and this thing isn't just mildy running, it's a steady Class III. We slapped a new flapper on there last night, and hopefully that's that. Probably could have saved her some cash if she would have mentioned it earlier. Luckily our property wasn't mentioned in the newspaper like Lance's.

We also picked up a Wii last weekend. We wanted to get a total of four controllers, so James made a logical bet and picked up Wii Play (which included 1 controller). Be forewarned--this game sucks. All the games are not initially available to you. It makes you step through them one at a time to unlock additional games, and most aren't very entertaining.

Sean's Wedding Part II

Some of you guys may remember Sean C. (he is a contributor to Backtoms although he has never contributed). Also known as the Naked Leprechaun or the Crazy Naked Wacky Greek. Most of you would simply remember him as one of the nastiest dudes you know.

Background: Back while we were still at State, Sean got his girlfriend knocked up and had to drop out of school so he could make an honest woman out of her. A few of us went down to the wedding including Aaron and Eric. Aaron (maybe he'll treat us to a story about it one day) tells the story best, but to sum up in a nutshell here are some keywords/phrases that come to mind: backwoods Louisiana; trailers; mosquitoes as big as small dogs; coona$$; etc. I really can't do that weekend the justice that it deserves in story telling, but let's just end it with I think Aaron may have a couple of pics of the groomsmen posing in front of Sean's trailer which was in the front yard of his mother-in-law's house which also had grandma's houseboat tied up in the backyard on the bayou.

Today while doing my best to get caught up on useless knowledge so I could talk to John this weekend; I ran across this story in the Gwinnett Daily Post about a couple that got married in the parking lot of the Waffle House they work at. You can read the full story here, but most importantly be sure to check out the slideshow.

Sorry, Sean...but you were the first thing that came to mind when I saw this. Let us know when your next wedding is so we can head on down. What happened to that 18-year old you were dating here in Texas? Love me some Waffle House.

Not so fresh feeling

Do you ever have that not so fresh feeling? Well, I'm not sure what's going on with me this week...maybe it's the extra sweat from this Texas heat or it could just be that time of the month, but my face has been breaking out like a 15-year old, punk kid.

Against my better judgment, my wife convinced me to try out some of her facial wash (the same one that John also uses from their shared dermatologist). And I gotta tell you, I feel like a new woman today. Some of Lukey's sweet tea vodka would make my day complete (joking aside I do want to try that out).

Thursday, August 21, 2008

My Wife Missed Her Calling

In the spirit of JT poking some fun at his wife...

I ran across a website called SueEasy today and I think they beat my wife to her true calling. From SueEasy's About Us section:

SueEasy is an online application where you can file your complaints in a variety of legal categories.

At SueEasy our primary concern is for you to register a genuine complaint or grievance as quickly and as simply as possible. We take pride in our efficient online application, designed specifically for you to register your lawsuit; view, edit, submit and be in touch with the best lawyers as soon as possible.

For those of you not in the know or that need a reminder...do not cross Shey. Daniel may slap you in the back of the neck, but my wife will sue your a$$ and take it to trial. Too bad she didn't come up with this idea first.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hahhaha....Holy Cow

Just to let you know how far I have progressed. I will be teaching a session or two of a graduate level class at Iowa State University this fall. How kick ass is that? Those poor lumps of grey mush won't know what hit them.

Vodka & Tea

So we had a party at the house (for Graysen's 1st birthday) a few weeks ago and after all the kids went to bed the grown ups started drinking heavily. We ran out of beer after a while, imagine that, so we started mixing vodka with sweet tea and it turned out to be pretty good. Of course at that point I could have been drinking motor oil and I wouldn't have cared. So last week I went to the liquor store to get daddy a little something and ran across a vodka that I had never seen before, Fire Fly Sweet Tea Vodka. Turns out that all you have to do is cut it with a little water, add a lemon wedge and you are all set. After about 6 or 7 of these little gems I realized that this could quite possibly be the perfect summertime / BBQ / mow the yard / watch TV / wash the car / anytime drink. A) It looks like sweet tea, B) It tastes like sweet tea, C) it gets you drunk. Now I know that this may seem a little on the feminine side but I promise after you drink one you will be a believer, besides after the Sweet Tea Ramblings that were on here earlier, I am pretty sure that there will not be any arguments on this.

So here's to you Mr. Sweet Tea Vodka Maker... when everyone else is satisfied with their tea, you took it upon yourself to make tea that gets you hammered. By combining your passion for tea with your alcoholic tendencies you created the perfect drink. There's only one thing left to say... Sweet Tea Vodka = Absolute Deliciousness.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Lance Armstrong must run our lawn service

This morning when I arrived at work it was raining. I noticed that the water sprinkler system was still on full blast as well. Makes me wonder if Lance Armstrong runs our lawn service since he likes his water.

In other exciting news the Vegas trip is coming up next week. Let Michael and I know when you are getting there. I hear they will be giving away tons 'o money while we're there.

Monday, August 18, 2008

College Pick'em

College football is upon us. As I'm checking in on our annual college pick'em over at Yahoo! Sports I notice the member list is looking a wee bit short. Some of our usual suspects have not yet signed up. I've sent invites to all of the faithful Backtoms contributors plus a host of others.

It's time for you to get on the horn and get the rest of our peeps to sign up. As usual, it's open to all if you want to invite your punk ace co-workers or friends that want to talk smack. If you need me to invite you again send me an email or post a comment and I'll hook you up.

I'm looking forward to the 2008 pre-season predictions. I can't remember who did it last year, but I'd be willing to bet that it will be safe to say Nunnrey will forget to make the majority of his picks again this season.

And don't forget Ryder has a money league as well. He's posted the information on the message board on the Phatboys league.

Sonic Polls: Analysis

Do you tip your Sonic carhop?
6 responded yes
5 responded no

Do you use the Sonic drive thru option?
2 responded yes
8 responded no

Some of my general thoughts on the topic:

  • I didn't expect such a close call on the tipping question. I was under the impression that more people tipped their carhop. I'm not hatin on you for not...just thought it was common practice.
  • During a team lunch a couple of weeks ago only the females responded that they did not tip although one of them said that this is a point of contention with her husband. She said that she typically will go through the drive thru for the sole purpose of not having her husband tip the skinny, b!tchs on rollerskates. I am now assuming that some of the other guys that I work with do not tip either, but they responded yes so they would not be outed as a cheap bastard.
  • I don't quite get the drive thru as a viable alternative to the drive in UNLESS one of several criteria are met:
    • You have a wife that makes you choose the drive thru to avoid tipping.
    • There are no drive in spaces available.
    • There are no vehicles in the drive thru line (but even then this is questionable).
    • Your vehicle does not have reverse.
  • None of the males I worked with admitted to using the drive thru option. Again, I have a feeling they were not completely honest.
  • One female in my work discussion said that it was faster to use the drive thru. I beg to differ. We even laid out a scenario where there were already two cars in the drive thru; she would still choose to wait in that line as opposed to pulling into a drive in space and placing her order immediately.
  • Michael, do your carhops often give you small talk when they deliver your order?

What are your thoughts or comments?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Crickets

We get some pretty bad cricket swarms in Austin from time to time. On the way home from the gym tonight I stopped to get some gas. James rolls down his window to sit there and stare at all of the crickets going by. We're about to drive off and he sees that one has jumped in and is next to his foot. I guess he wanted to pet it or something before letting it go (he didn't just put his foot on it). He opens his door and of course it just waltzes up into the innards of my dash.

So now I have a damn cricket in my truck. I guess it'll sound like I'm camping on my way to work tomorrow. Thanks James.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

20 Down and 5 Local to Go


Now that is one hell of a passport spread!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Potato Salad Alert

Tried out The Shed yesterday. They have potato salad kinda like Bulldog Deli. Luckily it was still daylight, so no roach sightings.

Sorry James, didn't have time to make it to the Project.

Seen in Moss Point

Damn that Global Warming

It is August 10 and we have shut the air off and opened up some windows to enjoy a nice day. About the only benefit of northern living. Of course in about 3 weeks we will be back to the beginning of the 9 months of winter.

Friday, August 8, 2008

My wife the bit**.....

hahaha...i told her i was going to blog that she was bitch and she laughed at me, thinking smugly that I would not. Oh...how wrong she was.

So I am drinking a Grey Goose and Cranberry and thinking, this sure is hell of a lot cheaper drink than John's bachelor party. Hell I paid more for that night (even when it was split by 5 people) than when I disappeared at Platinum for two hours with my student loan money.

Austin is drunk...thanks John

According to an article on Forbes.com:

Austin ranks high for its drinking habits across the board. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC's) 2007 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System Survey, 61.5% of adult residents say they have had at least one drink of alcohol within the past 30 days, and a staggering 20.6% of respondents confess to binge drinking, or having five or more drinks on one occasion.

Some residents attribute those numbers to the city's sizable population of college students. Austin is home to several schools, including the University of Texas at Austin, one of the largest universities in the country.

Some residents are obviously looking in the wrong place to find the root cause. If they have ever had the opportunity to meet John they would then know that he is working his hardest at raising the average number of beers consumed by Austinites in one sitting.

On another note, who came up with the definition of binge drinking? If you aren't planning on drinking more than 5 beers why would you even choose to drink?

Sonic Polls

Come visit the blog website and vote in our poll about Sonic. There are two questions out there right now:
  1. Do you tip your Sonic carhop?
  2. Do you use the Sonic drive thru option?

I am curious to see your habits and we can discuss further after the polls close.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

A Claw Hammer?

From WANE TV Channel 15 in Fort Wayne, Indiana:

Together, with another responding officer, the two walked up to the home and found the naked man, then on the couch, conducting a lewd act with a claw hammer, plastic bag and motor oil.

I've seen and heard some odd things in my life. Naked Leprechaun, snow skiing, man the pump, the claw, Spiderman, Emeril, clown face, etc. But what sort of lewd act does one do to himself with a claw hammer?

Where is Erik W. from? Is this how they roll up in Muncie?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Fishing report

Fishing has been pretty decent the past couple mornings here in FL. No marlin or anything, but it's pretty cool to walk out your door and get into schools of bluefish and ladyfish. I've anticipated James's skepticism, so here you go.



I also have a beer update. Stefanie bought some of the Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit, and I gave it a test. It's ok (if you're out of Coors/Miller Light).

Assorted travel tips:

1) If you stop at the Buc-ee's on I-10 in Luling, TX go ahead and budget some time. I've never seen a gas station this busy. Do take the opportunity to stop at any Buc-ee's you pass though. Clean restrooms, cool store-branded merchandise, etc. Strong buy: sweet & spicy jerky.

2) In Rosemary Beach, FL and eating at Wild Olives? Sit inside unless there's a stiff wind. Seems to be a lot of flies in the area.

Bonafide Jackpot

I hit a bonafide jackpot today at lunch. We rolled up to Popeyes and I ordered a spicy 2-piece (breast and leg) with mashed potatoes and gravy. While waiting to pick up my order the clerk called customer #61 (that's me) up to the counter. She said they were out of spicy legs and asked if I would be interested in another spicy breast or a wing instead.

Are you kidding me??? Of course I would love to have another spicy breast. Today must be my lucky day. I think I'll pick up some lotto tickets on the way home. Love that chicken from Popeyes...it's bonafide.

and tweeder drank beer, cus tweeder drinks beer...

STARKVILLE...

Starkville is unique. It's the only place I know where sofas belong on
front porches, golf visors are worn at night, and Brewski's had a waiting
list. State is about much more than classes, it's an experience that you
will treasure your entire life.

What is it about MSU that gets in your blood and intoxicates
you with its sweet southern comfort?

Maybe its the beauty of the Drill Field and the way it feels to sit on the grass
halfway study before that big test.

Or it Could be...
.. piling in a car with six of your friends and riding around town on a
sunny afternoon heading out to the Refuge
..catching your favorite local band and knowing that one day soon
they'll be famous
..hanging out at the Burgandy Room or the Grill or the Courthouse
catching the beer specials
..spending more time trying to see who's in the library than you do actually
researching
..scanning "Bad Dawgs" to see who got a DUI, and laughing at the drunk
guy who was arrested for singing in his boxers
..stopping and realizing when you're out with your best friends that these
are the people that will one day be in your wedding.

Maybe its the football games, finding a date, dressing up, trying to
stomach a Beam and Coke at
9 am after a Friday night
that began at Mexico Tipico's happy hour, and recognizing that same
excitement in the eyes of older alumni who keep coming back year after year, joining
their old friends and hoping to catch a glimpse of their youthful times at State.

We will look back and realize that our time here was short, but we made
the best of it. We were only here four of five years (some people six or
seven, if they knew how to work their parents). Now we will be making road
trips TO
Starkville instead of FROM it, joining our old college buddies
still dressing up for the games and still scanning the crowd for familiar faces.

We'll be dressing differently and the familiar faces will be a little
more scarce. We'll look over into that student section and remember
when...when it was our time here and how quickly it came and went.
We'll wonder about all those people we use to know;
Where are they now? Are they successful? What about that cute girl I had a
crush on, is she married or bald?
Yes, we'll lose touch with a lot of people and names will be
forgotten, but you'll ALWAYS have your close friends from
Mississippi State.
You'll email, talk on the phone, play bridge or have supper clubs on
Tuesday nights and most of your conversations will begin with those
two special words to which will have the power to make you laugh or cry
or simply smile-

"remember when."

Go State!

Monday, August 4, 2008

The sea is angry

I'm taking an undeserved vacation this week.

We left on Sunday, stopping for lunch in Lockhart (the BBQ capital of TX) at Black's BBQ. Not too shabby. We stayed the night in Lafeyette, LA at some hotel downtown. Word of warning, not a lot of stuff open on Sunday night down there. The only other person we saw at the hotel was the guy that was working the desk. Apparently someone blindfolds him and drops him off at work every night, because he couldn't tell us a place that would be open for dinner. I saw a brochure in the lobby for Don's Seafood, and of course, he didn't know which direction it was either (turns out it was a couple blocks away). He did offer to Mapquest it for us though.

Anyway, we arrived in Seacrest Beach, FL this afternoon and the water is closed today. Here are the flags from our patio.



One more note, we had lunch at Oysterella's in Mobile today. I'm issuing a strong buy on the steak sandwich they had on special.

Gorilla Loose in Austin

I can remember a day when a birthday meant a trip out for drinks followed by a road trip to Memphis to make our donations to the Platinum nursing school fund. It always felt so good to know my friends were such philanthropists. No longer though. Here is what happened to me today.

I’m sitting in our conference room minding my business and a gorilla comes busting through the door! I’m about to go ninja style on him as I’m nearest to the door and I need to protect my co-workers, but then the gorilla breaks into singing Happy Birthday.

Several years ago at my previous employer a group of us had gotten together and did this to our boss. Today was payback time and some of my old co-workers decided it was my turn. I guess it is true when they say what goes around comes around. I need a nap; my hip hurts.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Dinner Topic

Last night we went to dinner with John and Stef for my birthday dinner. The dinner was great, but there was some very disturbing discussion going on between John and Shey. The same person does their micros and they both have the same facial wash. Next time I assume they'll be comparing their other feminine products.

Are you jealous that this is not the stuff that you get to talk about at dinner?

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Glutton for punishment....

...yep thats me.

Now I'm not talking ball gags, whips or yellow discipline here. What I mean is that if a new job and new baby weren't enough, Kim and I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and move houses.

I guess it has something to do with being raised in an Air Force family that we feel the need for a change of scenery every 3-5 years. Or it could be that Paco and Rosario have moved in their 15 closest family members into the house across the street (as a bonus each "family" has a car which at last count totaled 6). Or it could be because my drug addict neighbor hasn't had any cops in the neighborhood in the last 6 months and I'm just getting bored. (Sidenote: This is not the ghetto in case you are wondering just my luck to be sandwiched between these idiots) Nevertheless Kim and I are moving to a town north of Nashville which will be closer to my parents (aka free babysitters) and our church friends.

So we are now in process of packing all our crap into boxes for the trek across town. Luckily for me I am starting jury duty next week (plese be a trial for my drug addict neighbor) and flying to Boston for the week after that, which will leave the majority of box duty to Kim.

So stay tuned for change of address announcements real soon.