My alternatives were to do it myself or to let our marketing firm do it and bill us hourly. I thought the task could easily be automated...just not by me. So I decided to test John's brotherly love. I wrote up some requirements and emailed them to him late Friday. Saturday morning he called me from Biloxi to confirm some of the details and in about an hour he emailed me a script to do what I needed.
First, I got the Roomba to vacuum my house. Now I've got John doing my work for me. If I can convince someone to exercise for me I'll have a bunch more time to do what I excel at...drinking beer and holding the couch in place. Mad props to John for taking care of me.