Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Authorities say a Houston-area woman who was burned up at her former common-law husband fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them.
I can remember in college when people were eating feeder goldfish out of my aquarium while they were still alive. What is wrong with you people? Taking the food out of my fish's mouth...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Why have I been going to Starbucks???

Five Everett bikini baristas charged with prostitution

EVERETT — Five baristas are accused of engaging in prostitution at an Everett bikini espresso stand following a two-month undercover police investigation into complaints that the women were selling more than coffee.

Detectives say the women were charging up to $80 to strip down and flash customers while fixing lattes and mochas.

Investigators saw the women expose their crotches, lick whipped cream off their co-workers’ private parts and pose naked for pictures inside the Grab-n-Go Espresso stand on Broadway, according to police reports obtained by The Herald on Wednesday.

Detectives also witnessed some of the women charging customers to touch their bare breasts and naked buttocks. Touching of that kind, for pay, falls under the city’s definition of prostitution.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Let Me Post That For You: Extra Cash

Luke has found a way for John, JT and me to make some extra cash:

Fairfax Cryobank was established in 1986 and provides infertile patients with anonymous donor semen in the United States and many foreign countries. We are currently seeking healthy college educated men of all backgrounds between the ages of 18 - 39. Donors earn approximately $100-150.00 per acceptable sample. This program requires a six month commitment and each donor is expected to produce one specimen per week on site.

The semen donation hours are Monday - Friday from 7:30 - 1:30 PM.

Learn about the donor program by visiting

Apply directly online at

Do not share personal information with anyone via email, please apply directly at our website.

Looks like they are currently looking for donors in Austin and the Twin Cities. I'm assuming my 'clean living' and big-boned body would make me a poor candidate, but I'm always up for a little extra scratch.

Monday, September 21, 2009


Our original plan was to stay overnight somewhere on the way back from FL. We left around 1PM yesterday, and the Bandit in me decided to make it a non-stop trip (rolled in around 2:30 this morn). Luckily, I happened to stop at a gas station in Baton Rouge and saw they had some signs for Drank on the door. I picked up a couple cans and will report back on them after I try it out.

Also, no adverse effects from the alcohol and my meds. If anything I'd say the alcohol helped wipe out the infection.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Don't Mess With Shorty Smoothe, Cracker

Intoxicated man tries to hook up with convenience store customer

CRESTVIEW -- A man who goes by the name of Shorty Smoothe became angry when a convenience store customer didn't recognize him, even after he told her his nickname.

He started the conversation by asking if she had a husband. That's when she told him she didn't know him, which enraged him, according to the report.

The man's daughters and other customers told the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office deputy that Shorty Smoothe started cussing at her and calling her names.

"(Expletive) you," he yelled. "You (expletive) cracker. Do you know who I am?" He then grabbed her shirt sleeve.

Sunday Sales in Starkville

From The Reflector:
Beginning Sunday, Starkville residents will have the ability to purchase both beer and liquor by the drink in local restaurants.

The State Tax Commission approved Starkville Sunday liquor sales in a 2-1 vote Wednesday. Sunday beer, liquor and wine sales in restaurants approved by the Mississippi Office of Alcoholic Beverage Control will be available from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday beer sales in off-premise locations, including grocery and convenient stores, will begin Sept. 27. The new alcohol code takes effect immediately.
What is this teaching our youth? Back in my day it paid off to plan accordingly if you wanted a cold one on Sunday. You needed to stock-up on Saturday or include a quick drive over to West Point in your Sunday festivities. This will simply create a society of drunk, lazy students.

Welcome to post-Prohibition.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tales From The Road Part I

It's that time of year again. Time for my yearly FL vacation. We left TX on Monday morn. Stefanie found these at a gas station in Louisiana.

Longtime readers know that I'll eat boiled peanuts shell and all, but I agree that frying them makes it easier.

Checked out the Hooters in Denham Springs, LA (right next to Bass Pro Shops).

We stayed a couple nights in Biloxi, but we didn't get into much fun. I did get to check out the Urgent Care place in B-town. I had an ingrown hair on my neck that got infected. I got a shot in the @ss, and then they cut out the offender. So, I'm now walking around with a big bandaid on my neck and instructions to:

1) Stay out of the sand
2) Stay out of the water
3) Don't drink

Now, 1 isn't a big deal to me. I can live with 2, but 3?

Anyway, we got to the condo this evening and it's pretty cool.

After some minor research I've also decided to test #3. I figure I'll drink until I feel bad. Then I'll know the limit, and can back off of it by 1.

Kanye Strikes Again

Kanye is a gay fish.

Go to and then insert any URL at the end to have him insult the site (example:

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Time Waster: People of Walmart

If you haven't heard about this yet you should check out People of Walmart.

I'm waiting for someone to post a picture of:
  • Luke wearing his 'fill to here with beer' t-shirt
  • Luke with his 'pimp of da year' t-shirt
  • John buying some beauty products

Bad Dawgs

Here is a good one from today's edition:
6:40 p.m. A juvenile was transported to Oktibbeha County Hospital after getting an object stuck in his or her nostril.

Somebody trying to snort some Legos or something?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Trashed or your money back

From the Daily Mail:
Organisers brag they will breath-test all partygoers, with the one found to be the most drunk getting free entry the following week.

Adverts for the Tuesday night special, dubbed Trashed, say it has 'one simple aim', which is to get revellers 'nailed, battered, done-in and, well, proper ****ing trashed'.

And the promotional material adds: 'If you're legal to drive at 3am, we'll refund your entry money because in our eyes you're not Trashed, so we've failed in our mission.'
I don't want to go all the way to England for this, but if any of your local bars decide to follow suit let me know so we can come check it out.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Paint Over

Non-Biloxi peeps might as well skip this one.

John's been hassling me to post about this one (I guess so he's not the only one posting about fashion and beauty). And since I'm sitting here drinking beer waiting on MSU to play while watching Texas struggling against Wyoming I'll go ahead and knock this one out.

Daniel pointed out Smiley winning Design Star last year. If you've been keeping up she now has a show on HGTV called Paint Over. Earlier this week I watched a couple of episodes and there was a good moment in the first show where she is asking the chick what she thinks about the results of a room makeover. The chick says she loves it and then Smiley says something along the lines of, "...good...I get nervous designing a room for someone with a faux hawk..."

And she wasn't kidding...the chick had a faux hawk, but she also sported sort of a mullet like haircut. I'm no big fan of the mullet and was hoping Daniel would come out at any moment and slap her in the back of the neck for me.

Anyway, check out the show (daily at 3 PM CT on HGTV). I'm not sure I'd want her to redo any of my rooms, but to keep in perspective I'd have every wall in our house some shade of white or khaki if I had my way.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Holster shortage in NYC?

A 15-year-old Brooklyn boy shot himself in the penis Sunday after fumbling with a gun that had slid from his waistband, authorities said yesterday.

Khamir Grant was then arrested for reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon -- the same charges levied against Burress, who shot himself at a Manhattan nightclub in 2008, law-enforcement sources said.

Monday, September 7, 2009

My New Safe

Labor day was good this year. The Bulldogs got a win, had the day off today, and finally got a gun safe for the house. These suckers are heavy, but luckily John has a good back. I had somewhat decided on this one a while back, but it was on sale this weekend so we headed down to Cabela's yesterday to pick it up.

Now I don't have to worry so much about thieves getting a hold of my Red Ryder.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Warning: It's dangerous to break into Texas houses

SAN MARCOS — About 2 a.m. Friday, when a San Marcos resident heard a commotion outside his bedroom, he grabbed his .40-caliber Glock pistol and opened the door, police said. When he saw a teenager pointing a gun at him, according to police, the resident fired several shots that left two Luling 16-year-olds dead and another teen seriously wounded. A fourth teen fled to escape from the gunfire, police said.

Three of the four youths appeared to be holding weapons, police say. One had a handgun, and the other two had pellet guns that looked like handguns, police said.

Note to any potential renters, our San Marcos condo is in the safe part of town.

Friday, September 4, 2009

What is going on in LA?

Excerpts from
Abu Mansour al-Amriki — or "The American" — has become one of the most recognizable and outspoken voices of terrorist propaganda.

He was born Omar Hammami in May 1984, and he grew up outside Mobile, Ala., in the city of Daphne.

Despite inching toward a population of 25,000 in recent years, Daphne still maintains "the ambience of a small town where the people are friendly and caring, and newcomers soon become good friends," according to the city's Web site. The city has streets with names like "Whispering Pines Road."

In fact, U.S. News & World Report calls it one of the "Best Places" in the country. And among Daphne's top assets, according to the city's Web site, are its "reputable schools."

During his later teenage years, Hammami attended Daphne High School and frequented the Islamic Society of Mobile, one of the most popular mosques in the Mobile area. It's unclear whether he was always a practicing Muslim, but a source told FOX News that he has family ties to Islam. A call to the mosque was not returned.

As for Daphne High School, it looks like the all-American high school straight out of the TV show "Friday Night Lights" — complete with the picturesque football field and massive flood lights. Before classes each morning, a small group of students gathers in front of the school to hold hands in Christian prayer. A short time later, a different group carries out an American flag, lifts it to the top of a pole, and stands hands-over-hearts as the "Pledge of Allegiance" is recited over a loudspeaker.
Luke, what the heck is happening to your hood? You need to get Clayton and Big Steak to put a leash on that puppy. It's probably all been downhill since Michael C. got shot in the nuts with a BB gun. Now everyone is in a jihad in LA.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Must See TV

If you haven't seen Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel you really should. Season 2 started this week and it airs on truTV on Tuesday nights. It's about the pool party at the Hard Rock on Sundays during the summer. It's filled with everything that makes great television: drunks, douche bags, chicks in bikinis and drama.

This week they showed a group of dummies coming out to find their buddy a new chick (since he had just been dumped). The dude proclaims that he wants to find the hottest chick at the party. He ends up hooking up with some exotic looking chick with huge, fake cans. He later finds out that the chick is really a dude...or at least used to be. This doesn't stop him and he asks it out on a date.

It's also worth mentioning that the Hard Rock in Biloxi has it's own version of the party called Detox. Weekly, they put up pictures on the website. I guess times have changed since my years in B-town...looks like the place is overrun with knuckleheads wearing Ed Hardy shirts and augmented chicks running around.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

JT's Reading List Review: Classic Literature - Fiction

Holy crap! I just realized it has been a couple of months since I started listing some of my recent reading. So back to it.

Before I start out with my classic literature review, I forgot one non-fiction book I have read recently.

The Lost City of Z (David Grann)
This is the story of early 20th century explorer Percy Harrison Fawcett who was obsessed with exploring and mapping the Amazon forest. For wanting to read the story of this guy in book form, go for it. However, when it comes to non-fiction for me, I am more than happy to read wikipedia for the basic facts. It was an interesting story, but when I stupidly did some internet research halfway through the book, I ruined the rest of the book for myself. This is pretty interesting in regards to learning about the Amazon and may trigger other reading interests. Good enough to read, but not strongly recommended if your tastes are anything like mine.

Classic Literature

The Three Musketeers (Alexandre Dumas)
I really did enjoy this book. Of course I read it after I had seen movie adaptations. Most of the movies do justice to some of the adventure and interaction between the characters, but often missed a lot of the details within the book (like most movies). Trust me, if you have only seen the movies, you would still enjoy reading this book. I really was surprised at how different the book really is than the movies, especially with plot directions.

The Man in the Iron Mask (Alexandre Dumas)
I had to laugh when I finished this one. Again, very good and worth the read if you are into some historically-based adventure fiction. And once again, this book really is different from the movies that have been made. For example, the DiCaprio film focuses solely on the prisoner who is the brother to the king of France. However, that is only about a third of the entire story. The rest of the book wraps up the stories of the original Musketeers. Apparently, this is the last book in a series about the Musketeers while the The Three Musketeers is the first. I have not read the in-betweens, but if they are anything like these two, then they may be worthwhile to read.

The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
I can’t tell you how much I really enjoyed this book. This is one of those stories that, if you have not read, I would really recommend that you do. A good telling of the revenge of man who was wronged at a young age. Enjoy this one.

Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
I have seen a lot of reviews that say this is one if not the greatest novel of all time. I agree it was good. This book tends to be more of a chick book due to the love stories involved, but I did enjoy it. If you have a lot of time, pick it up, you might just enjoy it. But if you are looking for instant satisfaction in your reading, this may be a little long for you.

The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoevsky)
This is an actual murder mystery set in the time where Russia was moving to a socialist society. Read the reviews on the link, decide whether you want to read or not. But, I would recommend this one, because I did truly enjoy this one. It is a fairly long book, but I did find it enjoy the time I spent on it. It has been a few years since I read this, but it will end up back on my future reading list.

Catch 22 (Joseph Heller)
I loved this book. I was just looking over some of the reviews on Amazon and it keeps mentioning that this is anti-war, a pacifist dream book about the absurdity of war. There is a review that links this to the inspiration for M*A*S*H. OK, great. I loved MASH. I never cared that the underlying message that war was bad in all cases like they tried to portray in the show but the damn thing was funny. Of course, saying that the book represents the foolishness of war and set it in WWII seems pretty silly to me. I guess the years that preceded WWII are usually forgotten since they were the failed efforts of pacifism and acceptance of the folks that were looking to take over the world, whether given to them peacefully or taken forcefully. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this and laughed out-loud at some parts. How can you not love that the definition of a Catch-22 in the book, if I remember correctly, is that to get out of the war you have to prove that you are insane, but wanting to get out of the war is the proof of sanity.

Of course, I would be remiss not to mention that if you have never read Huckleberry Finn, read it. It has been too long to have not read this classic of American literature. Also, pick up A Streetcar Named Desire or at least see the Marlon Brando movie. Classic. Good enough that I wrote the same Critical Analysis for both 11th grade and 12th grade English.

I believe my murder/mystery novels are next.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Cougars--Not Exactly What I Had Envisioned

Did you know a Miss Cougar America was recently crowned? Care to see some of the National Cougar Convention attendants?