Winning Slot Moves

I'm headed to Vegas tomorrow night to meet up with Michael. Because of this I'm reading up on my Vegas news and I ran across an article called 100% Guaranteed Slot Machine Voodoo Maneuvers. It includes some techniques like: The Wipe, The Knock, The Sit, The Peekaboo, etc. While these are entertaining (and I may try some of them out) I think they are missing some of the proven winners we know and love:

• Hello New User: When you are on a bad streak using pooled money you simply swap out the player cards to trick the machine into thinking a new user has sat down. You'll also need to say in a computer voice, "Hello, New User" when the slot greets you on its electronic display. Advanced: Cash out the ticket and then re-use the same ticket after the card swap.
• The Massage: Just like a woman, a slot machine needs to be caressed a bit before she'll pay out. Give the machine a nice rub down.
• The Claw: This is Shey's favorite, but it's worked for me on several occasions. Pull the lever and hold it in the fully engaged position until all reels stop spinning.
• The Smoker: Have your smoking partner blow smoke at the machine while playing. Slots love to smoke. A slot that isn't afraid to smoke isn't afraid to pay out.

And of course there are others, but I don't want to spill all of our secrets.