Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Why I Shouldn't Drink on School Nights

Earlier this morning my wife called to ask me what I was dreaming about last night. Apparently, she claims I was giggling like a little school girl and woke her up in the middle of the night. Funny she asked because I immediately started laughing again; running through what I vaguely remember about my dream.

As John mentioned in Skyboxin' we had the pleasure of the VIP treatment last night at the ballgame and they had my favorite beer there...the free kind. We tried our hardest to make sure none of the beer went to waste and now this is what I remember from my dream afterwards.

We were at some sort of sporting event. I don't remember everyone in attendance, but I do specifically remember seeing John, Michael and most importantly Luke. The guys were headed to the restroom and there was a line. My turn was next and Luke was just walking out of a stall. Luke had a grin on his face with his devilish heckle that I have seen on several occasions when something bad has or is about to happen.

I went into the stall to find that Luke had left a very large deuce in the toilet as a gift for me. I hit the flusher and proceeded to urinate. I continued looking straight ahead so I wouldn't have to stare at Luke's creation. Unfortunately for me, the toilet began to overflow and the deuce erupted over the side of the bowl and landed on my shoe. In shock I walked out of the stall and exclaimed, "Luke $hit on my shoe!" I then kicked my leg into the air to dislodge the deuce from the top of my shoe. The deuce ended up on the floor and I then left the restroom and continued telling everyone about Luke $hitting on my shoe.

Details are fuzzy here, but the last thing I remember is that Michael and Luke went back to the restroom for some reason. When they came back out they now had a baby carrier (like a car seat or something) in hand with the deuce in it. They were laughing uncontrollably while walking around and stopping for innocent bystanders that wanted to see the baby only to be shocked and disgusted when all they saw was a huge deuce instead.

When I woke up I literally thought my stomach was hurting from laughing so hard, but this quickly turned into a mad dash to the bathroom for myself. I guess my mind's drunken translation of my body saying "wake up you're about to $hit yourself" turned into "Luke $hit on my shoe" for some reason. Anyway...beware of a laughing Michael/Luke combination...especially if they have a baby carrier in hand.

1 comment:

Michael said...

I don't know how I feel about that James. I suppose it could have turned out much worse as when you mentioned Luke and I returning to the restroom, I was picturing something along the lines of Luke jumping on it only to cause an "splash" affect onto all those around. LMAO.

I also have a hard time picturing Luke and I strolling around anywhere together with a baby carrier in hand?? How hot has it been in TX?